My baby!

Here he or she is! Look at that little finger right in front of it's mouth. The baby was shy throughout the sonogram, he or she always had it's hand right in front of it's face. I think it's because he or she is a little self conscious about those big lips they have. In one of our pictures it seriously looks like it had just received a botox injection and I am not exaggerating, some of you have probably seen the picture. Well anyways, the doctor said that the baby weighed about 4lbs right now and could weigh up to 8lbs at delivery. I am a little surprised that the doctor thinks that the baby is going to weigh that much since I have only gained 5 lbs so far...woohoo! I thought we would be having a scrawny little thing. My due date has now been moved up to June 21st! One day sooner :)

Well on another note the baby and the Davis crew made it through our first Earthquake this morning around 5:30 AM...I felt like I was on a cruise ship, or maybe that is just where I was dreaming I was :)

Well we will post more later!!

Indescribable Heartache

I don't know that there has been one experience in my life that has been as heart wrenching or as difficult as what David and I have experienced this past week. It is obvious to most that we made the best decision for our family by letting Brayton go, but the weight of that decision is so heavy it almost seems unbearable. I am reminded of how many chances our Heavenly Father willingly gives us and I am left asking myself, "Did we give up too soon?" To most including my family it's easy to see how threatening his unpredictable behaviors could be to not only David, Nicole and myself, but also to this innocent baby that is about to be born in just a couple of months, it seems as if we would have come to this conclusion sooner or later. But when a child enters your home biological or not, it changes your whole life you begin to live for that child, you dream dreams for that child, you see the good when others can only see the bad. Today I see an 11 year old boy who has been so deeply wounded by the circumstances in his life that the one thing that he desires to have in his life more than anything else (family) is the one thing he is unable to obtain and that saddens me more than anything. As of right now David and I have committed to visiting Brayton in his new placement on a regular basis and to even sit in on his counseling sessions. I would ask you all to continue to pray as we seek direction in this situation, we pray that God would close doors if need be, or give us the strength to walk through them if asked too. I pray every night that Jesus would sleep with and next to him, as bed time was an ongoing struggle in our home. I pray that Brayton would not only feel loved but be able to accept love even though the hurt he has encountered in life gives him no reason to trust the love from anyone. And most of all I pray that he would be able to be molded in to a new creation.